Faith and Sensibility....
I have a small statue of baby "Lord Ganesha" and a picture of "Pir Haji Ali" on my study table.2 very contrasting yet amazingly similar potraits.One deludes faith in some Almighty whose love can rid us of all the pain and misery,another,whose street smartness won him the status of GOD.
2 schools of faith.So similar yet so contrastingly different.Somehow,I've always loved renewing my belief and my strength from these two and have found myself to be very happy doing so.There have been instances when one look will make my day and yet sometimes,I can almost look past them, lost.Something wrong with my belief I guess.But what???
I have never been very religious.All I thought I believed in, was my believe in myself.And I have been very happy that way.Well,till today because today I actually gotto question my belief and ask myself;
Am I right???
Am I being true to myself of everybody else on this earth???
Have I been really committed to what I preach???
Have I even tried to live upto my own expectations???
Well,don't know.
Im very laid back.Very happy with whatever I have and even happier with whatever I dont have.My father once said that I dont have that "killing instinct" in me.And thats true."Chalta hai" attitude is my weakness and mind you,talking about your own weakness is not easy.But its not just weakness in self that troubles my over active (or ahould we say,overly in-active) mind.
The other day, I saw a buffalo being toed away by 3 men.She was tied by rope which was clearly paining her in the neck and jaw and the worst part was that she was very unhappy to be with the people she was walking with.They were pushing her,poking in the back and causing her pain,so much so that I saw her bleeding through her crotch....
How much of pain could that have been???
I don't know and maybe,in all my weaknesses,don't have the courage to know.I wanted to stop and relieve her of her pain,somehow,anyhow.But I didn't do it.
I drove past.
That was height of cowardness.
I cried all the way back home but did not go back to help the animal.
Just the next day,I came across a donkey whose front legs were tied together.This time guilt overcame my sensibility and I called my friend to help me untie the donkey's legs.He did come but we couldn't get the donkey to stand still so that we could untie his legs,because,as we came to realize later,he was scared of us.Someone then came and then told us that maybe his owner had tied his legs so that he could be recognised and he would not hop away too far from home.
Maybe.But why was the donkey scared of me???
I wanted to help him.....
Again I was crying,for the rucus me and my friends created on the road and making a joke of all of us.
My heart still cries for all the animals I see on the road.I have found a mid-way out,I feed all the animals I can.But will this tendency to find a mid-path help me???Will the 2 Gods come to my rescue this time????
NO.
I have to be more sensible.Don't know if that means being more indifferent or just 'sensitive but inactive'.
My pillars of faith stand shaken but they are still standing,tall and away from me.I want them to measure upto me,closely with what I am.But they are running far ahead, taking away with them my sensibilities.......
2 schools of faith.So similar yet so contrastingly different.Somehow,I've always loved renewing my belief and my strength from these two and have found myself to be very happy doing so.There have been instances when one look will make my day and yet sometimes,I can almost look past them, lost.Something wrong with my belief I guess.But what???
I have never been very religious.All I thought I believed in, was my believe in myself.And I have been very happy that way.Well,till today because today I actually gotto question my belief and ask myself;
Am I right???
Am I being true to myself of everybody else on this earth???
Have I been really committed to what I preach???
Have I even tried to live upto my own expectations???
Well,don't know.
Im very laid back.Very happy with whatever I have and even happier with whatever I dont have.My father once said that I dont have that "killing instinct" in me.And thats true."Chalta hai" attitude is my weakness and mind you,talking about your own weakness is not easy.But its not just weakness in self that troubles my over active (or ahould we say,overly in-active) mind.
The other day, I saw a buffalo being toed away by 3 men.She was tied by rope which was clearly paining her in the neck and jaw and the worst part was that she was very unhappy to be with the people she was walking with.They were pushing her,poking in the back and causing her pain,so much so that I saw her bleeding through her crotch....
How much of pain could that have been???
I don't know and maybe,in all my weaknesses,don't have the courage to know.I wanted to stop and relieve her of her pain,somehow,anyhow.But I didn't do it.
I drove past.
That was height of cowardness.
I cried all the way back home but did not go back to help the animal.
Just the next day,I came across a donkey whose front legs were tied together.This time guilt overcame my sensibility and I called my friend to help me untie the donkey's legs.He did come but we couldn't get the donkey to stand still so that we could untie his legs,because,as we came to realize later,he was scared of us.Someone then came and then told us that maybe his owner had tied his legs so that he could be recognised and he would not hop away too far from home.
Maybe.But why was the donkey scared of me???
I wanted to help him.....
Again I was crying,for the rucus me and my friends created on the road and making a joke of all of us.
My heart still cries for all the animals I see on the road.I have found a mid-way out,I feed all the animals I can.But will this tendency to find a mid-path help me???Will the 2 Gods come to my rescue this time????
NO.
I have to be more sensible.Don't know if that means being more indifferent or just 'sensitive but inactive'.
My pillars of faith stand shaken but they are still standing,tall and away from me.I want them to measure upto me,closely with what I am.But they are running far ahead, taking away with them my sensibilities.......
